Look no further than the legal field.  Case in point:  Scott Rogers, creator of The Mindful Lawyer,” and his delightful “The Mindfulness Memo: the Motion for an Extension of Thyme.”  Here’s just one tidbit that is useful for any job:

Thoughts like “I don’t have enough time,” or “I’ll never get this done in time” have both a factual quality and a “fear-based” quality.  While it can sometimes be the case that poor planning or circumstances result in a genuine rush, more often than not, the perception of “not enough time” is a conditioned thought that arises and, when believed, creates a “false” sense of crises that undermines performance.”

Rogers’ solution: mindfulness or meditation practices that can “help provide greater clarity of mind, focus, and ease in dealing with procrastination and time deadlines.” For tips you can use right now to turn your day from harried to happy, click here:

For More Peace and Productivity At Work, Imitate Some Lawyers

“The Motion for an Extension of Thyme” is just one of 500 pages of tips and resources in J. Kim Wright’s Lawyers as Peacemakers, which has been a best-seller since it was published by the American Bar Association last spring.  It’s chock full of information on how to bring more creativity, problem-solving effectiveness  and spirit to any job, legal or not. There’s even a reprint of an article I wrote on how to create a sanctuary at work!

At least a dozen mainstream law schools like Harvard and Yale offer courses in meditation as part of a mindful lawyering practice, says an article on meditation in the October 2010 California Lawyer.

For information on contemplative practices and how you can bring a variety of contemplative practices to your work, see also the Center for Contemplative Mind in Society,  Cutting Edge Law, and Idealawg.

What Can You Learn From a Lawyer to Improve Your Work and Life?

What kind of hope and inspiration can you take from lawyers who meditate?

How can you bridge the need to be focused, clear and absolutely practical with your own drive for meaning, purpose and joy?

How can you create more productive time and pleasure in your life and work by being more conscious?

As always, comments are welcome!

Best wishes, Pat McHenry Sullivan
Appreciator of Lawyers

Check out my latest project:  a continuing education program for the California State Bar, “From Stress Burnout and Exhaustion to Energy, Resilience and Insight”

Coming soon, a workbook for anyone on this topic. Want a presentation on this topic?  Call 510-530-0284

Kindness includes so many wonderful things, like friendliness, pleasantness, generosity, and understanding.  Where kindness is practiced at work, there’s cooperation, not power tripping.  … Respectful teamwork, not bullying or harassment.  … Welcoming of differences, not hostility or favoritism.

All this makes for a workplace where people are more likely to be excited about going to work than dreading it.  At the end of the day, there’s a spring to their step and time for a rich life, not exhaustion or the urge to escape.

All this means that kindness also is a benefit to the financial bottom line.

As Jodi RR Smith, director of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting in Marblehead, MA says, “People’s discomfort chills the workplace dynamic. When people feel respected, they are more likely to be fully present and engaged, ready to roll up their sleeves for effective work.”

Kindness is the Appropriate Form of “Love Your Neighbor” at Work

Khalil Gibran has called work, “love made visible.”  Jesus has said that the most important commandment after loving God is to love our neighbors as we love ourselves — with “neighbor” being expanded way beyond the traditional definition of a fellow tribesman or person who lives nearby.

The Golden Rule used to be touted as best way to love our neighbors.  Lately, there’s been talk of a higher standard, or the Platinum Rule.  Instead of doing unto others as we want them to do unto us, we do as they would wish to be done unto.  In other words, rather than assuming how someone wants to be treated, get to know him or her and discover their preferences.  (A great basic marketing practice!)

When we remember that others also want the blessing of being seen and honored as beings with unique viewpoints and preferences, the full Golden Rule works quite well.  Indeed, what employees want most from employers or fellow workers isn’t money or status.  It’s appreciation and acknowledgement — basic forms of kindness. Clients also want kindness in the form of honest, friendly, authentic service or products.

Legal Cases Show the Need for Kindness at Work

A few of the things I’ve seen while working part-time for employment lawyers over the years are very painful:

• Employees throwing a noose over an African-American employee’s head and calling it horseplay;
• Employers humiliating employees and retaliating against those who speak out against abuse at work;
• Insults based on employees’ sex, age, race, creed, or disability;
• Bullying, favoritism and sabotage at all levels of the corporate ladder.

When I entered the workforce in the 1960′s, many of these reprehensible activities were perfectly legal.  Over the years, employment law has slowly expanded to provide more freedom from harassment and a more equal job playing field.

Legal support for kindness — or at least protection against the worst unkindness — is moot if people don’t take the help that’s available to them.  Having summarized hundreds of depositions in employment law cases, I’m saddened by the number of people who don’t know how to set and maintain good boundaries.  Sometimes, they are motivated by their own misguided good intentions.

Witness an employee who thought if she simply pulled away every time her superior touched her inappropriately, he would get the message.  She didn’t want to humiliate him by speaking out, she said, and when he kept his hands to himself, she basically liked and respected him.

Like the neighbor in Robert Frost’s poem “Mending Wall,” we need good fences, or boundaries.  Sometimes, the greatest kindness one can do to a fellow employee or supervisor is say something like, “stop,” while a wrongdoing is small. That’s not easy for those of us who find it harder to be kind to ourselves than it is to be kind to others.

Kindness Goes Beyond Good Manners, Though That’s a Great Start.

A basic tenet of good manners is respect for self and others.  Ordinary good manners provide a great foundation for practicing kindness at work.

One of the most satisfying articles I ever wrote was for Workforce Management Magazine about a growing, informal etiquette for spirit and work, including an etiquette that which might be acceptable to atheists, spiritual eclectics, and devout believers of any faith. I hope you’ll check it out and add your own thoughts about kindness at work here..

Imagine:  a workplace filled with kindness.  It starts here, now.  It grows steadily, act of kindness by act of kindness.

As always, many blessings,

Pat McHenry Sullivan

Over the past 14 years, it’s been my great pleasure to interview hundreds of people about how their work and their spirituality support each other. The great world religions scholar Huston Smith,  graciously granted an interview of some basic tenets in each faith. Individuals have added their own rich insights, providing a marvelous, ever-growing picture of the many ways to put spiritual values to work everyday.

All Faiths Promote Right Livelihood

The term comes from Buddha’s instructions to his disciples not to cause harm through one’s work and to work ethically. Over the past thirty years there have been numerous discussions and writings from people of many faiths on what this might mean. Just a few:

• Finding work that suits talents and to which one feels deeply called. The Christian concept of vocation and the parable of the talents Matthew 25:14-30 are particularly relevant.
• Working with the same integrity and other values in the workplace that you honor in your place of worship. The Muslim concept of being the same person in the marketplace as you are in the mosque is a marvelous model.
• Engaging fully with the task at hand without forcing your will or ego on it. The Taoist concepts of Yin and Yang and the Hindu concept of surrendering the outcome of your work to God are wise guides.
• Weaving time for reflection and rest into times of work. The Jewish Sabbath and Ecclesiastes 3:1-15 (a time for everything in its season) are prime examples.
• Working in a way that respects the needs of others, including the earth and those not yet born. Prime examples are the environmental movements and the wisdom of native peoples, such as the Iroquois commandment to consider the impact of one’s actions to the seventh generation.

All Faiths Promote Paths to Wisdom

Whether you call it meditation, prayer, reflection or just a walk to clear your head, all faiths suggest that you get out of your ordinary mind, out of the limited view of your ego, and into a more timeless, universal way of seeing the world.

Because this blog often covers these topics, we won’t focus on them today. Except to say, whatever your faith, you already know some practices for slowing down, breathing, and opening up to guidance.

Indeed, one of the most spiritual persons I know is a lawyer who is an avowed atheist. He’s famously kind, compassionate, and ethical, but he doesn’t frame his thoughts about life and meaning in theological terms. He won’t use words like meditation or prayer, but obviously he gets into a state of deep reflection when he listens to country music and gets out of his over-worked left brain, into his heart.

I’d rather live in a world with one man who finds guidance without spiritual words than with than dozens who speak the spiritual words and don’t walk the spiritual walk — especially those who grow rich by promising spiritual “miracles” the easy way.

For More on the Wisdom of All Faiths for Work and Money, Come Back for Part II.

As a writer, long-time researcher and missionary for integrating spirituality, work and money, I could go on. And on. But I need to earn my living, and people don’t read much at one sitting any more. Therefore, we’ll take a break here.

Still to be explored in Part II (and maybe more parts as I really get going):

• All Faiths Promote Service
• All Faiths Promote Wise Use of Money
• All Faiths Promote Integrity
• All Faiths Promote Peace and Compassion

For a great collection of resources on right livelihood, see this article from Yes! Magazine.

How does the Wisdom of the World’s religions Enhance Your Relationship to Work and Money?

What do you already do to keep spirit alive at work? In your relationship to money?

What wisdom does your faith have for work and money?

What can you learn from other faiths?

As always, please share your thoughts and question.  Guest blogger ideas are welcome!

Many blessings,

Pat McHenry Sullivan

Distorted positive thinking can cost you money, sleep, your job, peace of mind, and maybe your life. It can also be a catalyst or enabler of fraud, waste and abuse on an individual or social scale.

Even the best models of positive thinking, like The Little Engine That Could, can be distorted. Yes, many obstacles can be overcome and dreams can be built when we affirm, “I think I can,” then follow through with action and stay on track. But sometimes, wisdom and integrity call us to accept what we can’t do. Sometimes, our best path is to go off track, even if we don’t yet know the best path to follow next.

However, if you anchor positive thinking in reality, then give it due diligence, you’ve always got the start of something great.

Real Positive Thinking is Grounded in Reality

Thanks to Stephanie West-Allen, JD, a very compassionate lawyer and creative person, I’ve just discovered Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America.

How exciting it is that people are now confronting the many distortions about positive thinking! Here are some thoughts after pondering Stephanie’s post about the book:

• It’s positive thinking to affirm that the world is filled with many options and opportunities.
• It’s positive thinking to affirm that in following options and opportunities, we look past what’s already known or customary.
• It’s positive thinking to be guided by the truth and wisdom of our souls, not by fear of fear or by pride, self-will, or a search for the easy way out.
• It’s positive thinking to celebrate a faith that recognizes we can deal with any challenge, including things we really don’t want, like death.
• It’s positive thinking to practice a faith that calls us to use challenges as a stepping stone to meaning, growth, and the capacity for joy.

That’s the kind of positive thinking that allowed Randy Pausch to have a breakthrough life filled with joy and service, both before and after he received a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.

That’s the kind of positive thinking that has supported all sorts of breakthrough lives and contributions, including Auschwitz survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl.  That’s the kind of thinking that guided a group of mostly uneducated market women in Liberia to overthrow the rule of a corrupt government and competing warlords, then initiate new vitality for their country.

And that’s the kind of positive thinking that you can employ any time to make sweet lemonade from the best possibilities and bitterest challenges of life.

Too Much of What Purports To Be Positive Thinking Isn’t Positive, Because It Isn’t Real.

The bliss bunny version presumes that if you think only good thoughts, only good will come to you. This distortion of positive thinking seems to fear even mentioning anything “negative” (seemingly defined as anything unwanted).

Of all the bits in the movie “The Secret” that irk me, none hits my buttons more than the scene where a man is worried about losing his bike, so he locks it to a post and “of course” someone saws off the chain and steals it. Yes, obsessing about what can go wrong can destroy possibilities and sometimes invite what we resist, but too many people take the “only positive thinking” idea way too far. E.g., comments like “we shouldn’t admit our financial deficit because that’s a downer” or a business owner’s statement that planning represents a lack of faith.

The bliss bunny distortion has been around for ages in many forms. In the fifties, when I was a child, it wasn’t nice to talk about racial injustice, religion, anger of any kind (especially the anger of women), or doubts that progress was really as wonderful as it seemed. In fact, all doubts or angers or fears were taboo. We’re still recovering from the fallout from this kind of thinking at home, the workplace, environment, economy, and places of worship.

Having spent many years as a paralegal in employment and business law, I’m steeped in stories of how often the “see no evil, think no evil” mantra leads to either the doing of evil or allowing it to happen.

I can’t count the number of stories I’ve heard from employees who avoided help from abuse or harassment for years because they just kept hoping it would get better. Or people like the church member who had been so pressured to think positively of her pastor that she allowed him to lead her into a contract that eventually cost her to lose her home. Or a man who ignored his doubts that Madoff’s promised returns could be so great, because he trusted the friend who connected him to Madoff.

Due Diligence Plus Hope — a Foundation for Real Positive Thinking

Due diligence in the legal sense means to provide the kind of attentiveness and research that’s necessary for a wise decision. It means to get curious.

Instead of assuming and hoping everything will work out, take the time to clarify what you really want and research what it would take to get there. Face what can go wrong, then take necessary precautions so you can move optimistically and realistically ahead.

“Diligence,” from the Latin “diligentia,” is connected to the word “diligo,” which means to love, value or appreciate. Diligence includes the meanings of care, attentiveness, and regard for.

Due diligence is a great spiritual practice as well as a powerful creative practice. It helps strengthen dreams and visions so they can live in the real world. It supports financial abundance with integrity, purposeful work and loving relationships.

Due diligence at work leads away from fraud, waste or abuse to a workplace filled with compassion and efficiency. In business, due diligence is a foundation for more conscious capitalism and a critical key to socially responsible investing.

You probably already practice some form of due diligence. Before you let your child drive, you take the time to ensure that the child has proper training, proper attitude, and as safe a vehicle as possible. As a host or hostess, before you invite people into your home, you make sure your home is safe and that the food is prepared and served safely.

Due diligence is a perfect partner to hope. Put hope and due diligence together, and we have really positive thinking.

What Are Your Thoughts About Positive Thinking and Due Diligence?

• What’s your definition of real positive thinking? Of due diligence?
• How have you acted with real positive thinking so far and thrived?
• How have you distorted positive thinking into something unreal? What has that cost you?
• What happens when you practice due diligence combined with hope?

As always, many blessings. Please comment below and help others learn from your thoughts and feelings.

Best wishes, Pat McHenry Sullivan

I spent 13 years in the Discalced Carmelite monastic order, which traces its origins to hermits living on Mt. Carmel in the 13th century. As is the case with most religious orders, the Discalced Carmelites prayed together at least six times a day on a regular schedule, using Latin names for the hours. These were also known as Canonical hours, because they have been used by all orders in the Roman Catholic Church for many centuries.

As our Muslim friends have so ably demonstrated, prayer can also provide the framework for secular life, including busy workdays. Inspired by what I learned in the monastery and from the example of Muslims, I adapted the canonical hours to my spiritual practices.

Here is the structure of ancient and universal canonical hours:

6:00 AM Lauds (Morning Prayer): The morning begins with praise.

9:00 AM Terce (The Third Hour):The community pauses in its work to remember God.

12:00 PM Sext (The Sixth Hour): The community prays before the noon meal.

3:00 PM None (The Ninth Hour): Mid afternoon prayer.

6:00 PM Vespers (Evening Prayer): Praise and thanksgiving as the day ends.

Bedtime Compline: The community prepares for sleep in peace.

Prayer Can Provide a Framework For Divine Order in Today’s Fast-Paced Secular Lives

Following the intent and inspiration of the canonical hours, here is my version of prayers for a contemporary workday:

As I rise I set my intention for the day. I will live fully in peace and with compassion.

As I begin my work, I bless my space and my tools. I pray that all my work today contribute to the good of all those I meet and brings me the resources I need for my life.

I pause for lunch and recall to mind the presence of the divine. I nurture myself with material and spiritual food.

During an afternoon break, I rededicate myself to doing well by doing good.

As I prepare for the evening, I give thanks for events of the day.

As I prepare for bed, I reflect on my actions of the day and their alignment with my true nature.

When I was in the religious order, I followed these prayers every day without fail. It’s not so easy to remember to stop for prayer in the contemporary day, but it’s definitely doable and rewarding. When I first adapted the hours, I wrote prayers and quotes on file cards that I could carry with me throughout the day. They helped me focus and get grounded at those times when I wished to pray and meditate.

I am now returning to this prayer practice, using as a mantra the Hebrew word for peace, which is “shalom.” This means to pause from work for a few minutes, breathe in on the first syllable, “shal” and breathe out on the “om.” I repeat the practice several times, then center into silence.

How Can You Build Your Workday Around Prayer ?

What are your thoughts?

How do you weave moments of prayer into your work day?

What can you learn from the prayer life of religious orders?

We welcome your thoughts and questions.

Many blessings to you,

John Sullivan

John Sullivan was resource director of the first major directory of spirituality and work resources, published by Spirit of Health! In 1995. With his wife Pat, he is the co-founder of the Spirit and Work Resource Center, www.spiritandworkresourcecenter.com.

Just What is Conscious Capitalism and Why Is It So Beneficial to Us All?

The conveners of last summer’s conference on conscious capitalism at Bentley University offered these three key elements of conscious capitalism:

• companies have a purpose that transcends profit maximization;
• companies are managed for the benefit of all stakeholders in their ecosystem, not just shareholders; and
• companies are led by spiritually evolved, self-effacing servant leaders.

Companies that practice conscious capitalism embody the idea that profit and prosperity go hand in hand with social justice and environmental stewardship. They operate with a systems view, recognizing and benefiting from the connectedness and interdependence of all stakeholders. They tap into deeper sources of positive energy and create greater value for all stakeholders. They utilize creative business models that are both transformational and inspirational, and can help solve the world’s many social and environmental problems.

Over Half the Fortune 500 Companies Are Already Profiting by Embracing At Least One Aspect of Conscious Capitalism

That’s the view of Patricia Aburdene, author of Megatrends 2010: The Rise of Conscious Capitalism (Hampton Roads 2005).  As she recently reported,  whereas the unconscious form of profit-worshiping, short-term profits mentality has led to economic meltdown, conscious capitalists are profiting now while creating a sustainable economy that “responsibly embraces all of its stakeholders- – investors, customers, communities, employees, and the environment.”

In her groundbreaking Megatrends 2010: The Rise of Conscious Capitalism, Aburdene reported seven powerful trends (backed up by statistics and compelling stories from many Fortune 500 companies) that are at the core of conscious capitalism:

• The Power of Spirituality – From Personal to Organizational;
• The Dawn of Conscious Capitalism;
• Leading from the Middle;
• Spirituality in Business;
• The Values-Driven Consumer;
• The Wave of Conscious Solutions;
• The Socially Responsible Investment Boom

Missed the Bentley Conference on Conscious Capitalism? See it Free and Online.

The conference featured a who’s who of leaders in the field of conscious business and spirituality in the workplace. Among the themes the conference covered are:

1.   The Need for a New Approach to Business
2.   Business and Higher Purpose
3.   Stakeholder Management and Alignment
4.   Feminization of the Culture
5.   Work as Calling
6.   Conscious Marketing
7.   Measures That Matter
8.   Contemplative Practices in Management
9.   Reforming Business Education

To view the various topics, click here, and scroll down the list of topics and presenters. Click on a program you’d like to view, and you’ll be privy to the wisdom of people like John Mackey, founder of Whole Foods, or Judith Neal, the founder of the Association for Spirit and Work and now director of the Tyson Center for Faith and Spirituality in the Workplace.

Needed: a Way To Better Way to Measure Value

One thing that’s holding the growth of conscious business back is the shyness of many prominent business leaders to speak openly about such matters as spirit and work, out of the fear that such thoughts will be considered flaky or unprofessional. Another is the lack of solid, respected ways to measure the impact of consciousness to the bottom line. This blog recently covered that topic and will cover it often in the future.

What are your thoughts on how conscious capitalism could benefit you and your world?

How do you measure what matters most to you?

As always, many blessings, Pat McHenry Sullivan

Never has it been more obvious that real life can’t be broken into categories such as work, life, money, children or fun. Everything important always happens right when we’re smack dab in the middle of seeming contradictory challenges. How to do the tasks that need to be done versus the work our soul calls us to? How to find time to mourn and reflect in the midst of work that needs to be done and life that needs to be lived right now? How to follow one calling, complete one task, when there are dozens or hundreds or thousands to be done?

Organized as Our Datebooks and Files May Be, Only Spirit Can Provide True Order

Guided by spirit, it becomes more clear what’s essential and what is not, what’s ours to do and what is not. Anchored in spirit while doing one task, we see more clearly how to handle another. Because spirit takes us into the essence where such realities as work, money and the rest of life organically interact, we find that working well on any task enhances the others.

This means that the same consciousness that helps us deal gracefully with a nasty boss can also help us end the workday with more time and energy for family. While working out the intricacies of a due diligence document, we’re in an orderly state that helps grief or old pains heal, that makes personal issues fit better together.

Sometimes Spirit Calls Us to Stay Focused and On Track …

Remember the Little Engine That Could? By focusing on her calling, she overcame obstacles that bigger, shinier engines avoided. Yes, a big part of her success was her internal motivation and her constant self talk, “I think I can,” but an equally big part of it was sticking on track.

I’m one of these people who always has a problem staying on track. I could, for instance, turn out 47 blog posts in a few weeks and none for months. Discipline for me requires not just getting past the resistant part that just won’t do what anyone tells me to do — even me. Worse, I’ve got to say no to those voices that say before I post again, I’ve got to create the perfect explanation for why I stopped so long, the perfect entrée back into the stream, the perfect apology, the perfect whatever.

… and Sometimes Spirit Calls Us to Create a New Track, or Return to Our Old Track with Renewed Insight.

My favorite people have always been people who have created new tracks, like attorney Kim Wright,  who was mentioned in the last post. Kim is so loaded with contagious excitement about the lawyers, judges and law students she knows who are recreating the field of law that I could listen to her all day. Fortunately, she doesn’t have time to just tell stories to one person all day. She’s such a great listener and her laugh is so hearty, that after a few minutes on the phone with her, my own dilemma soon became clearer.

Sometimes the answer to life’s challenges is kind of like the Nike slogan, “Just do it.” Just sit by the computer, and start without apology. Just pick up where you left off without feeling like you have to make it a big return of the prodigal son production. Just keep doing the ordinary, nitty gritty real work of every day and let the deeper wisdom flow as it goes.

In my case, a quick coda. My favorite people, I realize, include those who have never moved far away from the home where they were born, who live awesome lives in such ordinary titles as teacher or factory workers. My favorite views are not just the stunning sweep of the Shenandoah Valley from a foothill of the Massanutten mountain where longtime friends now live, but also the loquat tree outside my office window that I see every day. My favorite tasks include not just writing something new or creating something new, but also seeing old things in a new way.

It’s all rich, all blessed, including the ability to be with a friend as she lay dying.

There’s a world of spiritual practices just right for your workday. Pick any one of them and practice it!

I recently asked my network of clients, colleagues and friends: “What spiritual practice is in your business toolkit?”

Here are some of the spiritual practices business people like you rely on. Some you may be familiar with and even use, others will be new to you. I encourage you to play with these practices to enhance your work performance and make your life more rewarding and fun. Meditating

• Observing
• Spiritual Reading
• Mentoring
• Praying
• Fasting
• Being Grateful
• Smiling
• Trusting Your Intuition
• Affirming
• Refraining from Judgment
• Deep Breathing
• Walking a Labyrinth
• Staying Present
• Practicing Yoga
• Journaling
• Spending Time in Nature
• Visualizing
• Dreaming
• Clearing Clutter
• Being Silent

At times of change and uncertainty, it’s reassuring to follow a practice. Please feel free to contact me with questions or comments about your own practices.

Namaste,

Tricia Molloy

Tricia Molloy is the author of Divine Wisdom at Work: 10 Universal Principles for Enlightened Entrepreneurs. She offers Working with Wisdom programs, like “CRAVE Your Goals!” to empower employees to be more positive, focused and productive. Learn more and sign up for her free e-newsletter for valuable information and inspiration at http://www.triciamolloy.com/

Note from Pat Sullivan, the Spiritworkandmoney.com blogger: Please comment to this post in this blog. Simply click on the word “comments” that’s preceded from a number at the lower right of this post.

What are your favorite practices?

Which would you like to know more about in future posts?

What new ideas come to you by playing with and praying over this list?

True joy is an amazingly unselfish spiritual gift. Joy begets a light heart, plenty of energy, resourcefulness, and the longing to help others find joy. Thanks to the spirit and work movement, I’ve thoroughly learned how to distill joy out of any task, even when reality also includes sorrow, grief or other honest emotions.

Now, thanks to the new movie “Julie and Julia”, my full joy is back in cooking, eating, and sharing food with others. That may not be my paid work, but it sure affects all my paid work and dealings with money. Plus, I’ve got a whole new pair of role models for persisting in any vision around work and money.

Never Underestimate the Power of a Role Model for Any Challenge

In case you missed it, “Julie and Julia” refers to a hot new movie starring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. Julie is Julie Powell, who recuperated from the daily drudge of an often thankless job by cooking her heart out after work.

Julia Child is the legendary author of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, which for 50 years has brought a lot more joy into many American kitchens through her book and her PBS tv shows.

Both women sought purpose; both found it around food. Julie’s decision to cook her way through all 524 recipes in Julia’s cookbook and blog about it became a lively journey that intertwines her story and Julia’s. Like any great story, its essence is about all the things the characters learn and the new gifts they wrestle out of themselves in the process of living zestfully. Then there is the essence we can create for ourselves as we allow the story to become an ingredient in our lives.

“Julie and Julia” are loaded with lessons for the kitchen of any soul:

1.    Start with what you love. Whether looking for a new career or an answer to a puzzling problem, start with what you care about most, and give it love all the way. Do it with gusto, not drudgery, even when the task itself is difficult.

2.    Know and stay true to  your own standards. Somewhere inside, you know what really matters to you. Consider the wisdom and perspective of others and let them guide you, not rule you.

3.     Work with allies, not alone. Be an ally to others and find all the family, friends, and other companions you need to cheer you on, provide feedback, keep you honest, call out the best in you, and celebrate or cry with you. And when you’re being unkind in any way to those allies, fess up!

4.   Don’t limit your allies to people you encounter in the flesh. Julie met Julia only through her writings, her cookbooks and her TV shows. Yet, “without you here,” wrote Julie, “I would be a different persons — a smaller, a sadder, a more frightened person.”

5.   Don’t look for perfection in yourself, your allies and friends, your role models. Julie described Julia as a flawed woman of enormous energy and a great teacher who was funny, generous, and confident. … That’s what I love about her – she inspired because she was a woman, not a saint.”

6. Follow “the thirst to keep finding out, the openness to experience that makes life worth living. … [be willing to dive] into the next possible disaster…”

Dealing with food is a huge part of our lives and work — paid or unpaid. If God hadn’t meant us to enjoy it, why are there so many good things to eat?

The movie took me back to the joy of being in the kitchen with my mother, who used recipes primarily as a springboard for her own creativity. During our 13 years together she taught me to be fearless in the kitchen. I can only imagine what she could have done if had she lived past 1956, when the ethnic food explosion and cooking shows like Julia Child’s came into being.

I came out of “Julie and Julia” convinced that the only way I’ll deal with my own food-related issues is not just to cut the carbs and the wrong fats, but also to savor every morsel. After all, food that is savored digests better. Food that is digested sends out signals of enough and fills the body with more energy for a workout.

There are so many more food issues to explore around money and work, like the whole issues of organic and free-range versus factory-grown and depleted soil, and why the concept of fair trade is growing. Because these matter so much to me, I welcome your insights around them them.

But right now, whatever’s on your plate literally or figuratively, Bon Appetit!

As always, many blessings and come again real soon,

Pat McHenry Sullivan

A Wharton School of Business that finds “tightwads” and “spendthrifts” tend to attract one another, even though they both consciously felt they’d be more comfortable with mates of similar spending habits.   So much for the limited power of the conscious mind!

The subconscious, which is where all behavior comes from, is much more powerful than the conscious mind.  This can be really great news, if you know how to work it.

There is a positive intent behind all financial and other human behavior, no matter how distorted/crazy/stupid/”evil” it may see at present.

Money can be a coping mechanism, a valiant attempt to feel soothed or powerful or in control.  Thus, tightwads are simply trying to feel secure and be prepared for the future. Overspenders are trying to feel safe and happy in the present. They may feel denied if they can’t have what they want when they want it. 

Both dynamics have their place and can be tempered with balance. Many tightwads really do want to loosen up and be a bit freer in their spending, and many spendthrifts really do want to rein in their spending.  So both these polar opposites are actually seeking balance.  Beneath their distortions are some powerful gifts:  the potential for fiscal responsibility over the long haul and the ability to be caring and joyous right here, right now.

We learned many of money behaviors from our parents.

As a gross generality, we tend to model the behavior of our same-gender parent, and to attract traits of our opposite-gender parent in our mate.  As long as those behaviors remain unconscious, they can drive behavior in ways that do not support either partner.

For example, a woman’s compulsion to over-spend on clothing may have little to do with the desire for clothing but more so with childhood habits. Perhaps she saw her mother use shopping as a coping mechanism, and she learned that when life presents stress, shop and you will feel better about yourself. Her mate’s refusal to spend much on himself or others may make him feel like a good provider like his father was.

On the other hand, we may also have taken on financial behaviors that defy our parents or other powerful authority figures.  Example:  the daughter of a very miserly, well-paid professional man was horrified by watching her mother “steal” from her dad’s pants pockets to have enough money to feed the family.  She vowed: “I’ll never depend on a man for money” She became a hoarder, and could not share abundance with others, or herself.

Healthy people learn how to let their own vision and values — not unconscious habits — guide their financial decisions.

The gap between overspenders and oversavers can be bridged through vigilance and a commitment to harmonious money management.  You can’t help how you were “trained” to deal with money, but you certainly can effect positive change in this department.

Here’s how:

• Acknowledge the habits you picked up from your primary caregivers and how those habits now interfere with your best life;
• Acknowledge your and your partner’s rights to feel safe and comfortable, whether or not money is part of your safety and comfort equation, and agree to help each other have the safety and comfort you desire;
• Create a new vision of what you really want from life and how money might support this vision, not be the vision itself;
• Chart a course together to achieve a more central plot on the continuum for fiscal responsibility, so that (1) both partners feel safe and comfortable – - not just financially but in every aspect of life, and (2) you create a financial reality that serves you both well.

Financial mission — a cure for “money disorders”

I work with my patients to create a mission for their life’s work…..focusing on their callings, their purpose, the spiritual essence of their work.  I help them move from a position of fear, rebellion, scarcity or other limiting belief into a state of grounded trust in the goodness of life and their potential to have enough money for their true desires.

Perhaps you are familiar with the expression “dirty money” (or have seen the popular TV show by that name). I help couples focus on making “clean money,” no matter how little or much they earn.  Clean money, as opposed to “dirty money” is made honestly and in a way that has integrity to you and is earned in a manner that makes you proud.

Whatever we focus on will expand, so focus on an authentic, purposeful, integrity-filled, spirituality of money.  Discover what each of those qualities means to you, and experience how it feels when you actually create your money in an authentic, purposeful, integrity-filled and spiritual way. This practice will not only help you attract more money, but it will also help you enjoy it more and use it better.

Best of Wealth and Health!

Dr. Nancy

Doctor of psychology and clinical hypnotist, Dr. Nancy Irwin is in private practice in Los Angeles. She is also a speaker and the author of YOU-TURN: CHANGING DIRECTION IN MIDLIFE (2008, Amazon.com), a collection of “over 40 stories of people over 40” who made amazing transformations. Dr. Nancy has appeared on numerous radio and TV shows, including CNBC, The Greg Behrendt Show, The Rachel Maddow Show, to name a few, and has been quoted in the Huffington Post, the The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, and more. She is a member of the California Psychological Association and sits on the Education Committee of the California Coalition on Sexual Offending. www.drnancyirwin.com.